Christmas gifts for grandparents – memories, time and things that get used

It's Sunday evening, the last weekend in November. In the siblings' group chat where Christmas is being planned, someone writes: “What are we giving grandma this year? She says she doesn't want anything.” Someone suggests a blanket. Someone else points out that she got a blanket last year, and the year before. In her living room they're still lying folded in their ribbons. Meanwhile she rings the grandchildren every Sunday and wants to know exactly what they've done at school.

What she says and what she does point in different directions. She doesn't want more things, but she'd love to tell stories, be asked and have the grandchildren close. This page covers all four: both grandmas and both grandpas, on your side and theirs. The gifts are deliberately a bit quirky, but every one should either bring back a memory, get used every week or give time with the grandchildren. The idea behind unique Christmas gifts, plus the pages for the rest of the family, is in christmas gift guide.

Then, now and later

Three times are enough to find the right Christmas gift for a grandparent:

1. Then. Does the gift bring back a memory from when they were young, from the place they come from or from the family? Then it becomes something to talk about, not just to unwrap.
2. Now. Will it get used on an ordinary Tuesday in February? Ask this question too: can they manage it without ringing you? Anything that needs an app, a password or a manual tends to end up in a drawer.
3. Later. Does it give time with the grandchildren in the future, with a date or a plan? That's often the hardest thing to buy and the thing that means the most.

A good gift hits at least two of the three. Under each group it says what it is and why it works. If they really do have everything and you'd rather give something that gets used up, the consumable gifts are in christmas gifts for someone who has everything.

The grandparent who loves telling stories

They have stories nobody has got round to asking about. Give something that gets them going.

A music player with a single button. A small player or radio with big buttons, loaded with the songs from the years when she was eighteen and went out dancing. It sits in the kitchen, starts with one press and needs no app or password, and the grandchildren get to hear what grandma danced to.

The front page from their wedding day. The newspaper from the day they got married, or the day grandpa was born. The National Library of Sweden's service Svenska tidningar can be searched from home, but newspapers less than 100 years old have to be read at the library, either at Kungliga biblioteket itself or at an affiliated public or university library. There you email the page to yourself, one page at a time and for personal use. The big national newspapers are there in full, while local papers from 1906 to 2013 are only included as a selection. If the paper from the town where they married is missing, it may be on microfilm at the library there, often with the wedding notice, so start looking in good time. Print the page and frame it.

The question jar by the coffee maker. A glass jar full of rolled-up notes where the grandchildren have written their questions: “What did you get for Christmas when you were seven?”, “Who was your best friend?”, “What's the naughtiest thing you did at school?” Every coffee break, a grandchild pulls out a note, and the answers become stories that would otherwise never have been told.

The recipe in her own handwriting, on a tea towel. Photograph the recipe card for the sponge cake or the meatballs, stains and crossings-out included, and have it printed on a tea towel or burned into a chopping board. It gets used every week, and the handwriting survives the day the card falls apart.

The sweet bag from their childhood. Ask in passing what they bought with their pocket money when they were little, and fill a paper cone with exactly that: peppermint rock, toffee, liquorice root or wrapped boiled sweets. The sweets run out, but “do you remember when …” will be heard all Christmas Day.

A taste of home. Bread from the bakery in the village where grandpa grew up, cheese from the local dairy or the jam sold at the church Christmas market. Ring and ask if they post. It takes up no space, and it tastes like when they were young.

The grandparent who's clearing out and doesn't want more

Many people that age have started döstädning, Swedish death cleaning – going through their things calmly so their children won't have to do it later. Give something that makes it more fun, not something that adds to the pile.

The story tags. A pack of string luggage tags, a good pen and an afternoon together. Grandma ties a tag on the wall clock, the coffee cups and the skis in the attic and writes what they are, where they come from and who should have them. The clear-out becomes a story instead of a sorrow, and the grandchildren will know why that particular clock matters.

Framing what's already in the drawer. Grandpa's journeyman's certificate, the telegrams from the wedding, grandma's first driving licence or an old school report. Sneak it off to a framer in November and put it back, framed, under the tree. The only new thing in the parcel is the frame, and the paper finally gets to hang where it can be seen.

The grandparent who wants the grandchildren close

Here, the gift is time. Always put something concrete in the parcel, so there's something to open and a date to look forward to.

The sleepover box. A box with a lid that lives at grandma's: a toothbrush and a head torch per grandchild, a bedtime book and a sleeping mat so the grandchildren can sleep on the floor in her room. Write the date of the first sleepover on the lid. When everything's already there, it's much easier to say yes to a night.

The apprentice day. A card that looks like a job advert: “Apprentice wanted. Grandpa teaches.” The grandchild becomes an apprentice for a day in whatever grandpa does best, like sharpening a saw, fixing a bike inner tube, knitting a pair of socks or baking. If grandma's lussekatter is the master's test, it'll be a day in December with flour on the floor. Here the grandparent is the expert, and that's the whole point.

The stands bag. A bag with a foam sit pad, a flask and the season's fixture list printed out, with the grandchildren's matches, shows and competitions marked. Ice rinks and stands are cold, and anyone with a packed bag by the door gets out more often.

The family card game, written down. A deck of cards with big numbers and a little booklet with the rules for the family's own game – grandma's version of casino or grandpa's plump (a Swedish trick-taking game) – with all the house rules that only exist in your family. The grandchildren learn the game from whoever knows it best, and the rules survive.

The ice fishing day. Two short ice fishing rods, a few jigs and a card for a day on the ice with a grandchild. In Sweden, ice fishing with a jig is free without a fishing licence along the coast and on Vänern, Vättern, Mälaren, Hjälmaren and Storsjön in Jämtland, but most other lakes need one, and minimum sizes and closed seasons apply everywhere. Ice safety applies however many people are already out there: at least ten centimetres of clear, solid ice, ice claws worn high around the neck on both of you and ideally another adult, so there are at least three of you. A child who can't swim wears a life jacket. It's all in ice safety with kids.

The grandparents who live far from the grandchildren

What's missing isn't things, but being in touch between visits. The mum page has more ideas for a mum who lives far away, and these ones are made for grandparents and grandchildren.

The travelling book. A thick notebook and a bundle of envelopes. Grandma writes a page, maybe with a question or a memory, and posts the book to the grandchild, who draws, writes an answer and sends it back. Children love getting post, and after a year there's a book of letters between them that nobody wants to throw away.

The bedtime story in grandma's voice. A chapter book and a promise: grandma records a chapter a week on her phone and sends it to the grandchildren, who listen once they've gone to bed. She gets a place in the bedtime routine, even though she lives 200 kilometres away.

The ringtone that laughs. The grandchildren record “Grandpa, answer!” and a giggle, and you set it as the ringtone on his phone. The gift takes up no space at all, and he hears the grandchildren every time someone calls – even when it's someone trying to sell him something.

If the parcel is going by post, it might as well get a rhyme on the tag. How to write one that doesn't give too much away is in christmas gift rhymes.

The grandparent who takes the same walk every day

They go for a walk every day, whatever the weather. Give something that makes the walk better, and that gets used in February.

A kicksled. The old Nordic kicksled with two long runners and a chair at the front. Grandma stands on the runners and has something sturdy to hold on to, and a grandchild fits on the seat. It works best on packed snow and ice and less well in loose snow, and with ice grips under the shoes it's even safer.

A bird feeder that sits on the kitchen window. A see-through feeder that attaches with suction cups straight onto the glass, so the tits eat half a metre from the coffee cup. Add a note about Vinterfåglar inpå knuten, the big Swedish garden bird count where you count the birds at your feeder at some point between 29 January and 1 February 2027. You can report on paper, and the grandchildren can count at the same time at their own feeder. Sunflower seeds go a long way, and the grandchildren can make their own bird seed cakes for winter to hang next to it.

A walking stick seat. A walking stick that unfolds into a small seat. They can rest for a while on the walk, and sit at the edge of the rink when the grandchildren are learning to skate instead of standing there freezing.

Christmas gifts for grandparents from the grandchildren

The grandchildren make these gifts themselves, or mostly themselves. They're different from the dad page's lists and the mum page's, so nobody gets the same thing twice.

The height chart by the door. A board with a measuring scale that the grandchildren paint, where every grandchild is measured and gets a line with their name and the year every Christmas. It's screwed to the wall but comes along if grandma moves, unlike the lines on the door frame. Children from about four can paint, and an adult draws the measuring scale.

The calendar of grandchild days. Twelve sheets, one for each month, where a grandchild has drawn the picture and written in a day of their own with grandma: “March: we go sledging”, “June: we pick wild strawberries”. Staple the sheets together or put them on a clip. From about age six, with an adult helping with the dates.

The family crossword. Grandchildren from about age ten make a crossword where all the answers are about the family: the dog's name, the lake by the summer cottage, grandpa's favourite sweets. Squared paper is all you need. Grandpa solves it with his morning coffee, and ringing up to cheat is allowed.

The cover for the heat pack. A shop-bought wheat or cherry stone heat pack with the heating time printed on the packaging, and a removable cover the grandchild sews in a fabric they've chosen, ideally with grandma's initials. Children from about age ten sew it on a machine with an adult next to them. Don't sew the pack itself with your own filling: homemade wheat bags have no safe heating time and can get so hot they start to smoulder. Write on a note that goes with it: heat as instructed on the packaging with a cup of water next to it in the microwave, let the pack cool completely before heating it again, don't use it as a bed warmer under the duvet, and check that it isn't too hot before putting it against the skin.

If grandma and grandpa in turn are wondering what to give their school-age grandchildren, there are ideas in christmas gifts for kids aged 6–9.

When the grandchildren come to visit

Some of the gifts mean the grandchildren spend more time at grandma and grandpa's, so it's good to keep an eye on things children shouldn't get at:

• Medicines. Giftinformationscentralen (the Swedish Poisons Information Centre) reminds us that relatives the children visit must also store their medicines out of children's reach. Not in a handbag, a toiletry bag, the bathroom cabinet or on the bedside table. That includes the pill organiser with the week's tablets, which isn't child-resistant packaging and easily ends up left out on the kitchen table. Heart and blood pressure medicines, sleeping pills and painkillers can be dangerous for a small child even in small amounts. If a child has swallowed medicine, call Giftinformation straight away and don't wait for symptoms. What a box for the family's medicines can look like is in medicines and the home medicine cabinet.
• Hearing aid batteries are button cells, just like the batteries in small lights and thermometers. A button battery swallowed by a child can get stuck and cause very serious injuries. Keep spare and used batteries up high. If a child has swallowed one, call 112 immediately and ask for Giftinformation.
• The ice. The ice fishing day and the kicksled belong to ice and slippery ground. Don't go out on lake ice without ice claws and company, and check the ice all the way.

In an emergency, call 112 and ask for Giftinformation (the Swedish Poisons Information Centre). In less urgent cases, Giftinformationscentralen answers around the clock on 010-456 67 00. Call 112 immediately if the child becomes drowsy, has seizures or has difficulty breathing.

What we left out

The blanket, the jumper, the scented candle and the “world's best grandma” mug aren't here, and nor is the photo calendar with twelve pictures from the year. They're not bad, but most grandparents already have several, and they rarely hit more than one of then, now and later. A shop gift card is out too. Better a note with a date and a grandchild's name on it.

More ideas for a Christmas with more time together and fewer must-dos are collected in christmas with kids.